8 Terrible Reasons People Leave Churches
Perhaps more than ever before, people are leaving (or changing) churches en masse.
There are some good reasons to leave a church. What I’m seeing of late, though, doesn’t fit in the “good reason” category. The pandemic launched several more pandemics — fear pandemic, anger pandemic, political pandemic, racial pandemic, and a church pandemic.
The recent climate has given way to a mass exodus from churches, mostly for terrible reasons.
In this post, I outline 8 terrible reasons people leave churches.
If you’re a pastor, this may explain some of what you’re seeing. If you’re a church attendee, pay attention to these tensions!
Why Are People Less Interested in Attending Your Church?
I recently listed 10 areas in our church where we are not satisfied. Nothing is necessarily broken, but there is room for evaluation and improvement. The law of diminishing astonishment is partially to blame for a few items on the list, like decreasing attendance patterns from regular attendees and lack of enthusiasm within the upper […]
How to Make a Guest’s First Sunday Count
If you find this helpful in any way, please share it with others. Thanks!
NEW POST:
Sure, you have a mission statement for your church.
We do, too. I bet our statements pretty much say the same thing, with only a variation of adjectives and action verbs. After all, God sort of gave us the statement in the first place.
Having a mission statement is obviously important, but ensuring the mission statement comes to life is more important. How we design for that is important. After all, if what’s written on the wall isn’t happening down the hall, then what good is the statement after all?
I recently heard a story that so beautifully illustrates the power of taking the mission personally, and it was birthed from our organizational design. I’d love to share it with you, because it was a massive reminder to me of what’s at stake very single Sunday in our churches.
A few weeks back a brand new guest came to Woodstock City Church (where I serve). She was new to church. Not just new to our church, but I believe new to church. Although she is married, she came alone this day. As she entered the doors, a volunteer at our New Guest kiosk greeted her (let’s call her Amy). We have kiosks just inside the doors of every entry point at our church to answer questions and help new guests navigate our building. After talking with the new guest for a short while, Amy offered to give her a tour of the building, getting to know her more along the way. As they walked by Waumba Land (our preschool area), the new guest shared something very personal — she had lost her 5-month-old child. Through the obvious emotions of that moment, she confessed she didn’t know where else to turn, but knew she needed to turn somewhere, so she came to church. Our church.
Holding Out to Reach Millennials at Church
Have you mastered reaching the millennial generation in your church?
If so, you need to start a blog and podcast to help the rest of us!
If not, I have some encouragement for you — and for me as a church leader.
Here it is. The full proof way to reach the millennial generation:
Wait until they are married with kids.
Boom. That’s the secret. Seriously, though, I’m beginning to believe reaching the millennial generation is not about market segmentation and generational characteristics. It’s not about becoming something new and unique, designing services and experiences just for them. It’s not about propping up your new social justice programs and using Instragram. Reaching millennials might be a waiting game — like a starring contest. Just wait them out.
Of course, I say this somewhat sarcastically, but there is some truth behind the sarcasm. When I consider my own story, and as you look back at yours, maybe there isn’t as much to worry about after all.
I grew up in the church. I joking say I’ve been in church nearly every Sunday since I was negative nine months old. And not just Sunday, but Wednesday nights, weekend retreats, and I even participated in Monday night visitation once (once is all it took for me to abandon that strategy). Church was a way of life for me — until I college. At the ripe old age of 18, I left home for Berry College. Berry is a relatively small liberal arts university. Like almost every private college, it has Christian roots, but it was certainly not an overt Christian college. I wasn’t forced to take biblical studies or anything like that. I was free to live out my faith as I wanted, and I did.
During these four years, I didn’t attend ONE church service. Not a one. For 18 years I went to church nearly every week, and then I stopped cold.
Why? Why didn’t I attend church in college when I had grown up attending church for the 18 years leading to college?
How to Increase Your Reach by Narrowing Your Focus
This is Part 7 (and the last) of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
Here is a question I’ve begun to ask: What if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth barrier again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I have uncovered 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the fifth ingredient:
Ingredient 6: MAINTAINING A CLEAR FOCUS
In this last post, we are going to evaluate the most simple, yet counterintuitive ingredient to creating a continuously growing church.
Here’s our starting place: Logically, the more we offer at our church, the more needs we can meet. The more ministry we provide, the more people we will attract. If we offer Upward Sports, we can attract the recreation crowd. If we offer VBS, we’ll reach children outside of Sunday. If we have a Men’s ministry, we’ll get more guys to eat pancakes and pray together. If we offer Women’s ministry, we’ll give ladies a place to belong and do life together. We have to offer Sunday School, because, well, we’re a church! We need softball and basketball teams for adults, because where else will men recreate? And we have those fields out back, too. We should probably have a food pantry and clothes closet, because people in our community are in need and we are a church. Maybe a homeless shelter? And we should also have a school — and not just a preschool, but a real school.
That’s all well and good. It’s even logical. Some would say strategic, and most would say it’s church.
But here’s the counter to counterintuitive: It’s crazy complicated to offer countless ministries and programs. We would all agree making our church more complicated and complex does not necessarily equal more effective. It certainly doesn’t guarantee more people. Complication spreads our leadership too thin. It spreads our effectiveness too thin. It spreads our resources too thin. It happens subtly over time, often without us even noticing. Before we know it, though, our church is burdened with more than can be done well, and our reach and effectiveness will be hampered as a result.
3 Keys to Create an Unchurched Entry Point at Your Church
This is Part 6 of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
Here is a question I’ve begun to ask: What if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth barrier again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I have uncovered 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the fifth ingredient:
Ingredient 5: DEFINING, DESIGNING, AND DEFENDING THE ENTRY POINT
Where do people enter your home?
Friends probably come through the side door — often called a “friend door” for that very reason.
Family most often through the garage. I have four kids, and they more spill into the house through the garage, rarely closing it, shoes and socks and various clothing dropped anywhere and everywhere except the laundry room in the process. But maybe that’s just me.
But what about guests? Where do guests typically come into your home? It’s different for guests, right? They aren’t yet friends (the jury is still out), so the friend door isn’t a great option. They aren’t family, so the garage probably should remain closed when we are expecting them (and we hope they keep their socks on, too). In my home when we have guests over, much like you, they enter through the front door. The front door is the guest entry point into our home. It might be a little further than the garage or side door, but it’s where they go. It’s more comfortable for them and for us, mostly because it’s designed with them in mind.
Creating Continuous Church Growth Through Steps, Not Programs
This is Part 5 of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
Here is a question I’ve begun to ask: What if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth barrier again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I have uncovered 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the third ingredient:
Ingredient 4: PRIORITIZING STEPS OVER EVENTS AND PROGRAMS
The concept of “thinking steps, not programs” is ingrained in our ministry model. By nature we try to define where people are, where we want them to be, and how we can get them there. Programs and events don’t effectively achieve this goal. Easy, obvious, and logical steps, however, do.
As a church location of North Point Ministries, this serves as one of our Seven Practices of Effective Ministry. A simple google search will provide you with more than enough information on this ministry model practice. In this post, I want to instead discuss why this approach is critical to barrier-proofing the church.
In watching our ministry model first hand for a decade, I’ve identified at least 3 reasons prioritizing steps over programs serves as a continuous growth ingredient for the church:
1. Steps connect people.
We all desire community. It’s one of the most driving forces in our life. Think about why we do everything we do—really. Why would a parent be so committed to travel baseball or competitive cheerleading? It’s exhausting for everyone in the family. Virtually none of these kids will ever be paid for there skill. Why do we do it—really? I believe it’s because of the community surrounding the sport. What about the exercise craze of CrossFit. From my perspective, most of the facilities operate out of grundy buildings. The people I know who participate aren’t all bikini-body ready—some, but not not all. The giant fitness gym down the street offers way more in the way of classes, exercise options, and even pools. Why do people choose CrossFit (and post every WAD on social media)? Community.
The Keystone Habit That Creates Continuous Church Growth
This is Part 3 of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
Here is a question I’ve begun to ask: What if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth barrier again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I have uncovered 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the third ingredient:
Ingredient 3: SELECT THE RIGHT KEYSTONE HABIT
I came across the concept of “keystone habits” in Charles Duhigg’s book, “The Power of Habit.” I highly recommend it.
According to Duhigg: “Some habits matter more than others in remaking businesses and lives. These are ‘keystone habits,’ and they can influence how people work, eat, play, live, spend, and communicate. Keystone habits start a process that, over time, transforms everything.”
All organizations have keystone habits, which is significant to acknowledge, because habits always trump ideas or plans. As a church, like every other organization, we have keystone habits in place—most of us don’t know they exist. At best, we certainly have not been strategic in defining these habits to intentionally drive our mission and vision. In fact, if you are not experiencing the results you want, odds are your keystone habit is partially the culprit.
5 Ways to Better Understand Your Unchurched Community
This is Part 3 of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
I’d like to ask a better question: What if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth wall again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I have discovered 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the second ingredient:
Ingredient 2: KNOWING YOUR TARGET MARKET.
I spent a decade in the marketplace before transitioning into ministry. Most of those years were spent in marketing, specifically working with companies to better acquire new customers and increase the frequency of visits and/or purchases from current customers. As a business, that is how you increase revenue. It’s fundamental.
In the church, the same premise is true. We can grow attendance by reaching new people or increasing the frequency of our current attendees. The latter would make numbers look better and probably help each individual spiritually grow, but the Kingdom would not grow. And capital “K” Kingdom growth, not simply my church growth, is the real goal.
Therefore, to state the obvious, growth through sheep stealing is not good growth. If people leave another church to attend our church, the Kingdom does not win.
9 Reasons You Could Be the Growth Barrier in Your Church
This is Part 2 of a blog series on Creating Continuous Growth in Your Church.
SERIES SUMMARY:
Every church leader facing a growth barrier desperately wants to break through, because every church leader, including me, desires a growing, thriving church. Not because church attendance is the only measure of success, but because increasing attendance is proof that people are being reached.
If that is true, then breaking through barriers is important. But, what if instead of just breaking through a specific barrier we were able to barrier-proof our church? Pause for a moment and imagine never hitting a growth wall again.
I believe barrier-proofing is possible for every church in any denomination, and that’s exactly what we are going to evaluate in this blog series.
I believe there are 6 specific ingredients to create continuous growth in your church. In this post, we are going to look at the first, and most difficult to embrace:
Ingredient 1: REMOVE YOURSELF AS A BARRIER TO GROWTH
By far, this is the most challenging of the ingredients to evaluate and embrace. Often when we bump into an issue or problem, we are tempted to look around and cast blame. At times blame should be cast elsewhere, but as a point leader of any team or organization, there is always an element of blame that should fall back on our shoulders. After all, we are the leader.
Looking in the mirror is more onerous than looking through a window, though. Discovering and owning our part in any problem is painful at best, but if we desire the build THE Kingdom more than our kingdom, a mirror moment is necessary.
It’s about to get all personal up in here, but it’s worth the introspection, because the church and the people in our community are worth it.
Let’s start by acknowledging a truth for every leader: “In some way, I am a potential growth barrier.” In fact, just pause for a moment and read that aloud. Do you believe that? I hope so, because every leader has something in them that can impede growth. I’ve yet to meet a leader who doesn’t have the potential to become a barrier. The best leaders both acknowledge this potential and embrace proactive solutions.
