Telling Yourself “No For Now”
When was the last time you listened to a leadership podcast, read a blog, or attended a conference and heard a great leader offer great advice, but walked away thinking it wasn’t for you?
Several years ago I listened as my boss, Andy Stanley, taught a leadership lesson on saying “No for now.” The basis of his teaching was saying “No for now” doesn’t mean “No forever.” According to Andy, as a leader, you should be willing to say “No for now.” He gave examples from his past.
– When he had young children and was asked to speak at other churches or conferences, he declined. “No for now.”
– When he was launching North Point Community Church, he didn’t accept any offers to travel. “No for now.”
– He decided that being home at 4:00pm was best for his wife and family, so for a season, he would not meet with anyone in the late afternoon or evening. “No for now.”
Andy then explained how he can say “yes” to the things today that he consistently declined a decade ago. His season of life has changed. His children are grown. His leadership at North Point requires a different commitment.
In Andy’s mind, saying “No for now” did not mean “No forever.”
There’s one fallacy in this principle: It only works when people are asking you to do things.
How Can We Lead From Here to a Preferred There?
Maybe it’s just me, but few things frustrate me more than knowing what could be against what is; yet not making progress.
But I’m guessing that’s not just me – it’s probably every leader reading this post. Most leaders I know have some version of a preferred future in mind with a desire to lead people there over time. In some ways that’s why we are leaders! Leadership is about influence, and in most cases, influence towards something specific. A vision. A destination… A preferred future.
And again, for me, the more untapped the potential, the more frustrated I get when the progress is slow or nonexistent.
Here’s my current example: As a pastor in a large church, one of our greatest untapped potentials is in generosity. In conservative estimations, if every family who attends our church frequently gave ONLY 5% of their household income to their church (that’s half of what we would consider a tithe), our annual revenue stream would increase 400%. And that’s VERY conservative. It could increase 6, 7 or maybe 10 times! In my case, that is millions of dollars – with a capital “M.”
5 Ways You Can Better Question Leadership Decisions
Have you ever questioned a decision made by leadership? Maybe EVERY decision made by leadership?
My guess is everyone’s answer is “yes” to the first question! For those of you who answered “yes” to both, we’ll write another post for you soon!
Everybody at some point questions those in leadership. In some cases the questions are warranted. But in every case there is a danger in not knowing what we don’t know. Let me explain by pointing to a recent news article published in the NY Times, and then we will circle back and try to learn something together.
6 Ways to Lead a Church When You Don’t Get To Preach
How do you publicly lead a church when you’re a Campus Pastor, not the Senior Pastor?
That’s an ever increasing question. With the rise of multi-site churches, more Campus Pastors are added to leadership circles every day. But leading as a Campus Pastor presents unique challenges. I want to address one of these challenges in this post:
How do you cast vision for your church when you do not preach weekly?
How To Ensure Feedback Is Helpful, Not Harmful
Have you ever given great feedback in the wrong way or to the wrong person, virtually negating the feedback in total?
I sure have – like it was my job!
Actually, evaluating and providing feedback IS a huge part of my job. It is an important part of any leader’s job. As a Lead Pastor in a campus location with North Point Ministries, I am constantly evaluating our services, events, and programs. One of our staff covenants is “Make it Better,” so it’s safe to say evaluation and feedback is in our organizational DNA.
While evaluation alone is relatively innocent, the feedback mechanisms that carry our evaluations are ripe for harm – especially if you are a senior leader.
I learned this lesson the hard way a few times (I’m a slow learner). I remember two specifically:
I Start Every Meeting With The Same Question
What happened recently that makes you feel you’re accomplishing your mission and vision?
I love that question. I love it so much I begin every single meeting, lunch, coffee, or gathering at Watermarke with this one question.
At our staff meeting today, I began (as usual) with this question. The answers brought both cheers and tears! Here is a sampling:
One answer involved a brand new unbeliever who had not been to any church in decades. A few weeks ago, she walked into Watermarke for the first time. It just so happened we were launching a new Starting Point group that week, and she decided to give it a shot (you can read more about Starting Point HERE). Her life is changing, and she has not missed a single week of the group! That’s worth celebrating.
Our high school (InsideOut) ministry is at their summer camp. We celebrated how many students and leaders attended this year and what we have already seen happen in some of their lives over the past five days. That’s mission success.
Our elementary team (UpStreet) created an amazing summer competition with our children based on inviting new friends to Watermarke. We shared several of their stories, including some who had invited literally dozens of friends throughout the month of June!
We even shared how a staff member from another campus location came to Watermarke on Sunday morning to help run sound when our sound engineer showed up with a 103 degree fever.
There were several more…
Sure, in every meeting, there are lots of things to cover. And this question can at times take half the meeting. But whether I’m meeting individually with a direct report, with our staff team, or with a volunteer team, I begin the meeting with this one question. Here’s why:
Setting Our Hearts and Minds on the Things of Leadership
Is there anything that tends to replace Christ in your life as a leader?
Just an early warning – it’s about to get personal (at least for me!). I’ve been processing this idea in my own life a lot lately. It’s a process so by nature somewhat incomplete. Here’s where I’m at today:
Paul, in Colossians 3, provides an important statement about the life of a believer. As a Christian, Paul’s instruction is a beautiful reminder of our new life that is found in Jesus. But I believe it has significant leadership implications – ones that I’ve struggled to maintain at times.
Here’s what Paul wrote to the believers in Colossae:
Colossians 3:1-4 (NIV)
1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
The church has become enamored with leadership. For good reason. Quality leadership is missing in far too many churches around the globe. Yes, pastors are shepherds. Yes, pastors are disciple-makers. But pastors are also leaders, and the church needs more great leaders. Without quality leadership, the church suffers. This will sound blasphemous, but a great leader can grow a church crowd without Jesus. Great leaders can make things happen on their own. Great leaders can attract followers.
Could Your Success Today Kill Your Innovation Tomorrow?
Do you have the resources necessary for your job?
What about your department or organization? At our church, we challenge the leadership to ask that question frequently. The thought is simple and logical – if you don’t have the resources you need to succeed, we want to help fill in the gaps – within reason, of course.
When I first arrived at Watermarke Church, we were FAR from resourced. We existed as a hand-to-mouth organization. Every dollar we received left as it arrived. Every offering was critical. Every check was necessary. For two years, we scratched and clawed our way. It was a difficult season, but it was also a season full of fun and challenge … and innovation.
Then, after two years, we converted our church partnership into a campus location of North Point Ministries. Many things changed. And by many, I mean nearly everything. But our resources changed the most. Overnight, we went from being under-resourced to winning the church resource lottery (not really, but it felt that way). There were no blank checks, but we immediately improved financially. Within weeks our church began to take on new staff and new equipment. Our services improved. Our technology improved. Our leadership bench improved.
But… our innovative spirit began to wane.
He Knew Everybody’s Name. Personalize Your Values, Part 6
There was much to be learned watching Dan Cathy’s surprise visit to a local Chick-fil-A location, but for me personally, this last observation might be the most important:
Leaders connect relationally.
It was quite astounding, but before Dan left the store, he knew everyone’s name. Literally. He personally engaged and learned something about every single customer in the restaurant. Whether this is his natural gifting or not, Dan has cultivated the act of service personalization. It was impressive, to say the least.
Be Careful HOW You Make It Better. Personalize Your Values, Part 5
When I watched the President of Chick-fil-A, Dan Cathy, make a surprise visit to one of their locations, there was a lot to learn. Watching him work the room, serve every customer in the restaurant, refill drinks, and more, was a site to behold. But what I might have loved the most was watching him pick up a napkin from the floor, walk to the nearest trash, throw it away … and move on.
Seems simple. But think about it. How many times have you seen a leader (not you of course, but another leader) see a problem and decide to NOT address it immediately? Sure, some issues need immediate attention, but that bucket is much smaller than many of us tend to think.
I learned this the hard way. As a Lead Pastor, I care immensely about our Sunday morning service experience. When something is not right, I want it fixed. You guessed it – immediately! Early in my time as a leader, I would text staff members incessantly during the Sunday morning experience, pointing out problems, issues, trash, and whatever else I could find wrong. I reasoned they wanted things done with excellence, too, so I was actually helping them.
What I discovered was that my constant evaluation was not winning any points with the team. We all wanted to make it better, but not every moment needed to be a “make it better RIGHT NOW moment.”
Dan reminded me: Leaders make it better … over time.
In this post, I’d love to share three simple ways you and I can makes things better without losing influence and support of our teams.
Thanks for reading!
