It seems everybody in the world made fun of my Atlanta friends and me during the 2014 Snowpocalypse. I can’t blame them. It looked like a snowy scene from The Walking Dead. I can’t imagine how bad an actual zombie invasion will make traffic! Even though I was stuck in the mess for 7 hours myself, I found it funny, too (after I made it home the following day).
After driving for 7 hours, I realized I was not going to make it home. As I began to evaluate my options, sleeping in the car became the most logical choice. In a moment of divine intervention, my wife remembered SHE had just made a friend who lived close to where I was currently stranded. She called and asked one of the weirdest questions of her life – “Can my husband spend the night at your house?” Luckily, I’m a pastor and this family attends our church, so the “don’t you want to help your pastor” ploy was in full effect.
When my wife called back with the good news that meant relief from my pending car camping experience and for my bladder, I found myself equal parts relieved and frustrated. Frustrated because I HATE asking for help. The only thing I hate worse is accepting help! But in my position, I had no choice. As I slid down the mile-long hill that led to their home, I psyched myself up to accept their help.
After being fed and provided dinner and a bed (and a bathroom!), I realized accepting help helped both my new best friends and me.
1. FOR ME
Accepting help required humility, and nobody has too much humility. Pride is the reason we don’t ask for or accept help. At least it’s the reason I don’t. When you find yourself in a position of dependence, it forces you face the ugly pride in your heart. When I felt the tension of accepting help during the storm, I quickly realized all the tension stemmed from pride. I didn’t want to accept help because I didn’t want to need help. That’s pride.
But, accepting help really revealed how much my drive for independence pulled me away from one of the basic tenants of humility. I hope today I am more willing to both ask and receive help. And in the end, it will make me more humble. Based on my reaction during Snowpocalypse, I’d say more humility is certainly in order.
2. FOR THEM
Accepting help helped my helpers. People like to help, and refusing help takes away other’s opportunity to help. As much as I hate to receive help, on the other side, most people like to help in equal measure. When I refuse to ask for help, I refuse others the opportunity to help. Spiritually, serving others is a primary way to fill ourselves.
I experienced this principle in full force as I left my new best friends home the following day to brave the icy roads. I thanked them repeatedly, but I couldn’t out-thank them – and I tried a few times. I’ll never forget their final comment as I walked out the door: “Gavin, thank you for allowing us to help.” Not, “Gavin, thank you for staying.” But, “Gavin, thank you for allowing us to help.” I think they meant it. Helping others helps us.
Do you hate allowing others to help you? How can you be better at accepting help?
